I Suck at being "Happy"

So it is a pretty well known Christian fact that we are closer to God when we are going through trial. I know this especially well, although i was given a crash field course on Christianity. Now i am in a stable home, close to my family in Christ, have amazing friends, only mildly struggling financially, and although i still have pain, it isn't quite as bad and i expect it... and i now struggle with my relationship with God.

I have learned to be joyful in crazy trial yet because i don't know anything else as a Christian, this new "stable" life mostly absent from insane trial is a conundrum. I guess i am learning the other element of Philippians 4:12. ...and it's weird. My whole Christian experience has been learning to rejoice in the blessing of trial; which is backwards thinking for mankind. Now i am learning to rejoice in the blessings that make me happy/comfortable/not make me want to curl up and die. Honestly, i prefer being unhappy and joyful rather than happy and not so joyful.
Wow, i totally just convicted myself! Both those situations reveal my discontent.
Thank you for talking me through that.

I also wonder... clearly God has made me to be one who has now been conditioned to endure great trial. For some, trial is weeds in the lawn; for some a withering lawn. For others it is someone uprooting the lawn with their 4 wheel drive; and for others it is the atomic bomb dropped in their front yard. So i wonder, is this the calm before the storm? Not that i think God is out to get me, but He has clearly shown Himself in my suffering. And although i fail at it miserably, i've learned to suffer gracefully (showing His grace and strength, not mine). Ha! So now struggling in my faith with the absence of trial it itself a trial! Ha, ha - oh God, You slay me.

I believe Lord, help my unbelief. So guess i await the end of this book. Job received so much more than he began with and Peter was pretty much sifted like wheat. Regardless of what happens in the book God is writing about me, i know the end of the story: Christ returns and saves His children. In that i rest.

Trials: 1) [peirasmos] meant to fail, usually from Satan
2) [dokimion] reveals value, test from God
(we don't get to know which type of trial happens when)
3) [hypomenes] steadfast endurance

1 Peter 1:6
6In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed (grieved) by various trials, 7so that the proof [dokimion] of your faith,... may be found to result in praise and glory and honor (worship words) at the revelation of Jesus Christ;

James 1:2-3
2Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials [peirasmos], 3knowing that the testing [dokimion] of your faith produces endurance [hypomenes].