“God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able”

Daily i learn the gift that is suffering. I learn that through it i am getting to know my God, my Lord, my Savior and the way He loves me.

So i get these headaches that are pretty incredible. It sounds as if there is a generator in my head, and it is churning my brain as it pulls on my retinal nerve and medulla oblongata sending shock waves through the nerves in my neck, head, eyes and face. It is something i never thought someone could feel and reminds me of those mobster movies when someone is being tortured. When they come on i am down for the count. All i can do is lie as still as i can, breathe slowly and deeply and talk to God. Now if you have ever been injured - be it stubbing your toe, enduring electric shock or being stabbed...paper cuts count too - you know the last things you do are hold still, breathe and talk to God. We usually bounce around, hold our breath and cry out. It isdefinitely by God's grace that i get through these times of pain; such pain as i never knew or would have chosen for myself. As Paul states in 1 Corinthians 10:13, God knows exactly what we are able to endure and does not give us more than what we are capable. That goes the same for earthly gifts/treasures as for suffering/loss, but that is another post altogether.

So one night i had the worst pain i had ever felt. I was lying in bed trying to relax and talk to my Daddy. Then something crazy happened. It was the oddest feeling. The pain was not dulled or lifted but i felt lifted. I don't think i can describe in words what happened but it was as if God was saying, "This is all you can handle." I may have hit my max pain threshold... for now. Like training in a sport, once you exhaust a muscle the next time you can take on more.

Knowing my God, my Abba Father will not give me more than i can endure is such a comfort and surprise. I never would have thought my threshold for pain would be this. Maybe someone bigger and stronger than me! It makes me wonder how much more He knows i can take. It also makes me wonder if Jesus is thinking, "Oh please, i could endure that in my sleep!"

Okay, so i don't think Jesus would be that caustic with me but really... no one is even close to being capable of enduring what Jesus did. These two truths about God the Father and Jesus are such a comfort. We may not know the reason He brings us to such a place, but it grows us. I am definitely not the same person i was when i took my first step with Christ. What is wonderful and scary is we have further to go for He isn't done with us yet. It may not be the path that we would have chosen for ourselves but He never said it would be easy. Yet He did say we wouldn't go at it alone.

Where ever You call me, i will go. If it means being closer to You, lead me there, i will go.