Sunday, January 22, 2012

Victory in Chronic Pain

This morning begins a hard day. I have a chest cold which magnifies the chronic pain and fatigue already in my frail little frame. So I am home alone again waiting for church service to be over in hopes someone can come hang out with me.

So I am home alone doing the last thing I probably should be - looking at Fibromyalgia sites. This past week I have been researching doctors as my last Fibromyalgia doctor doesn't believe FMS is debilitating. He clearly doesn't have it. FMS is so tricky because no one can see the disability - and there is no diagnostic test that will prove it on paper. I need a doctor that will believe me, then progress can be made. Anyway, I stumbled onto a couple websites that intrigued me. The first, Living With Fibromyalgia, is a great explanation of what FMS feels like and the repercussions on one's life. The other, What Your Doctor Doesn't Know About Fibromyalgia, by Linda Melenk MD.

Both are great descriptions of the suffering that goes on beyond the physical pain itself. The first was accurate but pretty depressing. Line after line I heard in my heart, "But there is Hope! Living Hope amidst the pain!" The second one ended like this,
"FMS isn’t listed on a death certificate as a cause of death, but it can be deadly. FMS patients die from drug overdoses, lethal combinations of drugs, heart attacks and strokes caused by unendurable pain, withdrawal from drugs, and other causes linked to FMS. Sure, it would be easier for me to write that we are all going to recover completely immediately. Too many times, the helpful books I read (and there are some that were not) didn’t seem to address the panic, helplessness, despair, and severity of pain I was feeling. “If we can just keep our patients alive long enough to find a treatment,” my pain doctor said once, sighing as she handed me a prescription for Percocet. This is the story of staying alive."

My heart aches to hear this. Here, hope is placed in the treatment. Yes, finding someone to believe you is helpful. Yes, finding treatment that works is helpful. However, if we are relying on that next treatment, that next person to believe and understand, we are again trapped. We are chasing yet another carrot. I understand and will not deny the importance of an understanding support system and medical treatment. However, I want to scream on a mountain top, There is Hope for joy! This pain isn't for not! There is victory through the pain! There is One who will always understand, Who will never grow weary of you, Who is never overwhelmed by the length and breadth of your need, Who is the Great Physician, Who always wants to hear you cry out to Him! A doctor says, “If we can just keep our patients alive long enough to find a treatment,”, I say, Hear me and I will show you to the One and Only who will give you life long after treatment is found and He will give you life abundant even if treatment is never found.

The Great Physician promises: our present sufferings cannot be compared with the glory that will be revealed in us; we are more than conquerors in Him; though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day; He will give us a spirit not of fear but a spirit of power, love and self-control; your perseverance in pain will result in praise and glory and honor; you will have inexpressible and glorious joy! Why can He promise these things? Because He has overcome this world. He has conquered death. These, and everything in heaven and earth are all His to give. He is pleased to do so. Who? The Father, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. The Son, Jesus the Christ. The Holy Spirit, comforter and guide. The Most High God can address your panic, helplessness, despair and carry you through the most severe pain. His is not a story of simply staying alive or bearing down in pain. His is a story of abundant life in perseverance and eternal (pain and sorrow free) life beyond this one. Call out to Him and He will answer.

1 comment:

Jo said...

Jenni, I'm not the first person to tell you this, and I won't be the last: you are a strong, beautiful, and graceful woman - all the more so because it is so incredibly evident that your strength, beauty, and grace come from God. I thank God for the opportunity to witness the great things he has done and will continue to do through you. Thank you for sharing your struggle; though sorrow lasts for the night, there will be joy in the morning. Praying for pain relief, joy, and fellowship.