Proverbs 31:10

An excellent wife who can find?

  She is far more precious than jewels.

אשת־חיל מי ימצא ורחק מפנינים מכרה׃

Proverbs 31:10

Even in the first verse I struggle.  I will set aside the word "wife" for now as I know a lot of single women struggle with that part - but please read Isaiah 54:5-6 while you meditate on it.  The words I want to focus on are "excellent" and "precious".  The word "excellent" comes from the Hebrew word chayil which means strength, might (especially warlike), to show oneself strong, to display valor.  This chayil woman is not a damsel in distress.  This is a woman who listens to God and obeys His commands.  A woman who does not give in to temptation but fights spiritual battles.  This is a Titus 2 woman who teaches younger women.  A woman of tested faith like that of Hannah (1 Samuel 1-2), Abigail (1 Samuel 25), Esther and Ruth.
In war, the victors take away the captive’s weapons and sheath their own - just as Christ takes away Satan's weapons and absorbs God's wrath.  Victors have the capability to use their weapons and the discernment of when to use them.  This virtuous woman is equipt with spiritual strength and discernment.  She knows when to wield the sword of the Spirit and when to listen, know, and/or speak with love and compassion.  This is an excellent woman.

Before we get on a Joan of Arc testosterone rush, I'd like to talk about the word "precious".  In some translations it says, "of  more worth than jewels," or "precious stones."  It speaks of her value.  Now, this passage is talking about a woman who, as we see later, works out her faith.  However, I do not want to miss this opportunity to speak to all daughters of the Most High God.  No matter if you were reborn yesterday, if you have strayed from the Good Shepherd, or if you have dedicated your life to Him for decades - to Him, you are lovely and precious.  Do you see yourself as valuable to God?  You are.  In Psalm 84, the sons of Korah exclaim, "How lovely is Your dwelling place, O LORD Almighty!"  You are that dwelling place.  You are lovely.  

Paul urges the Corinthians three times (1 Corin 3:16; 6:19; 2 Corin 6:16) and again to the Ephesians (2:21) that we, children of God, are the dwelling place of the LORD!  We together are a holy temple of the living God!  You were bought at a price!  Do you know that price was the by nature pure blood of Christ?!  Do you know of how much more worth that is than jewels?  You were bought with blood that is, by its very nature, pure!  Hagnos, meaning venerable, pure from carnality, sacred... you were bought with the most valuable thing ever and ever will be in existence!  This preciousness, this value not deserved or earned but given to you freely by Christ Himself!  Preciousness that He alone can give because He alone is, by His very nature, precious.

This is a value that I don't think we can fully understand this side of heaven.  It is so wonderful I can't help but cry every time I think of it.  If this were a hand written letter, as in the time of Paul instead of a blog post, it would be warped through and through with tears.  Tears of love as I desperately desire all my sisters to know this truth.  Probably also tears of disbelief.  This is how my Abba Father sees me?!  The great I AM that I AM?!  The magnitude of this astounds me.  It fans into flame an urge for excellence that will please my Father.  Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!  Help me to fight the good fight of faith, and make me to look like Your precious Son. 

Power, Love and Self-control

God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.  2 Timothy 1:7

“We must think of suffering in a new way, we must face everything in a new way.  And the way in which we face it all is by reminding ourselves that the Holy Spirit is in us.  There is the future, there is the high calling, there is the persecution, there is the opposition, there is the enemy.  I see it all.  I must admit also that I am weak, that I lack the necessary powers and propensities.  But instead of stopping there . . . I say, ‘But the Spirit of God is in me.  God has given me his Holy Spirit.’ . . . What matters . . . is not what is true of us but what is true of Him.”
D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Spiritual Depression (Grand Rapids, 1965), page 100.

Give me Jesus

Over the past five and a half years I have endured the great chronic pain of God healing my heart, tearing idols out of my grasp and purifying my faith.  I want Him too... I ask Him to; yet when I actually feel the rod, I beg Him to stop.
In the four years that I was undiagnosed, I prayed my illness would be something I could die from.  I know that sounds morbid but I had such faith that heaven with Christ was far better than this place that... well in the words of Paul, "to live is Christ and to die is gain".  Better to go sooner rather than later.  No more pain, no more tears, no more watching my friends enjoy the fullness of this life while I stay confined to my bed.  My Abba Father would finally rescue me from this world and wipe away my tears.
Today, while I still have chronic physical pain, it is not completely debilitating.  Today I feel the rod lashing into my heart and wish to trade it for the physical pain I once had.  Today I am tempted to pray for cancer that would eat up my flesh and put me face to face with my Savior.  Today I read this post from Ray Ortland and was comforted and corrected.  The fullness of life is not health and opportunity to do stuff.  The fullness of this life is to experience fellowship with Christ and take refuge in the shadow of His wings when I just can't take it anymore.  The greater depths of sorrow give opportunity for even greater inexpressible joy.  One day, should I persevere, I may look deep upon the bloodied face of the Lamb that was slain looking just like Him and say, "I believed You. You told me it was worth it and now I see it is true".

“Ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold trials.”  1 Peter 1:6, AV

"I was lying upon my couch during this last week, and my spirits were sunken so low that I could weep by the hour like a child, and yet I knew not what I wept for—but a very slight thing will move me to tears just now—and a kind friend was telling me of some poor old soul living near, who was suffering very great pain, and yet she was full of joy and rejoicing.  I was so distressed by the hearing of that story, and felt so ashamed of myself, that I did not know what to do, wondering why I should be in such a state as this, while this poor woman, who had a terrible cancer and was in the most frightful agony, could nevertheless ‘rejoice with joy unspeakable, and full of glory.’  And in a moment this text flashed upon my mind, with its real meaning.  I am sure it is its real meaning.

Read it over and over again, and you will see I am not wrong.  ‘Though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness.’  It does not say, ‘Though now for a season ye are suffering pain, though now for a season you are poor,’ but ‘you are in heaviness.’  Your spirits are taken away from you; you are made to weep; you cannot bear your pain; you are brought to the very dust of death, and wish that you might die.  Your faith itself seems as if it would fail you.  That is the thing for which there is a ‘needs be.’  That is what my text declares, that there is an absolute ‘needs be’ that sometimes the Christian should not endure his sufferings with a gallant and a joyous heart; there is a ‘needs be’ that sometimes his spirits should sink within him and that he should become even as a little child smitten beneath the hand of God.  Ah! beloved, we sometimes talk about the rod, but it is one thing to see the rod, and it is another thing to feel it.  And many a time have we said within ourselves, ‘If I did not feel so low spirited as I now do, I should not mind this affliction.’  And what is that but saying, ‘If I did not feel the rod, I should not mind it?’  It is just how you feel that is, after all, the pith and marrow of your affliction. . . . I think this one idea has been enough to be food for me many a day; and there may be some child of God here to whom it may bring some slight portion of comfort.”

C. H. Spurgeon, The Treasury of the New Testament (Grand Rapids, 1950), IV:346-347.