Disabled Parking

Sometimes the best intentions lack some insight. Like asking someone who is blind, "What are you looking for?"
Spending a few months in a mobility device helped me to see how hard it is to really put yourself in someone else's shoes. Little mistakes that make me laugh.

'twas a Mere Nothing

Here is my first go at my new hobby. Enjoy!

Still Waiting!

Really. Still waiting. It would be easier to have a positive outlook if i knew what i was dealing with here. Daily i find myself conjecturing, determining what i would do in either case. With all the extra time on my hands with nothing to do and (because of gas prices) nowhere to go, i end up feeling dejected. I took the summer off because my doctors told me i needed brain surgery - not necessarily the best time to start a new quarter of classes. Regardless, i am glad i've had the time off to collect myself through the pain.

As for the pain, i have been doing better. I am getting stronger and most days the pain is more random than constant. Not having constant pain has been a blessing and a much needed break. However, the random nerve shocks suck. I cannot get used to them because they surprise me. Nerve pain is probably the most uncomfortable and there is no warning. Sometimes it is local to one spot like my ankle - not so harsh. Sometimes it runs from my abdomen down the back of my leg through the bottom of my foot - little more harsh. And sometimes it runs from my neck through my face and eyes - that sucks. Involuntary spasms usually accompany these shocks so the double surprise makes for not so much fun. However, i have been dancing a bit and tonight i actually took a walk! I am trying to dwell on these things as i await my doctor appointment, which hopefully will be in September.

I definitely have had plenty opportunities to be patient! But isn't that what doctor's patient means? Patience for patients.

Acupuncture is the Bomb-diggity! Part 2

Today i went to my acupuncturist. I've only seen her three times before today but she seemed excited to see me. I started going to her because she takes Medi-Cal with a $10 co-pay (acupuncturists usually only take cash). Today she told me not to pay so i asked if my insurance was covering it. The insurance is only paying $5.71! "Don't worry about it, i just want to help you. Come in anytime you have pain."

She is sacrificing a lot of time and money and seems happy about it!

Bearing the Burden: part 2

With pain in general, a primary injury will cause you to be less focused on, or even forget about a secondary injury.
When my heart hurts for someone else's struggle, my pain is less.

Bearing the Burden

It is impossible to bear some burdens on your own. That is why there is community.
Today i learned that bearing the burdens of others makes my burden lighter. I realize that that makes no sense whatsoever, but here is my theory:
By sharing burdens, we not only distribute the weight but it can also give a much due break from thinking only of yourself. Also, a little empathy goes a long way.

Life Goes On... and on...

I hope this isn't too honest for you guys but, i have been longing for Heaven so much lately.
The constant physical struggle has made me weary and possibly lazy. The symptoms change so much day to day that it is difficult to determine whether my body needs rest, or if i am being slothful. What i can say for sure is that i have gotten lazy in life. Yes, my body is a mess and it is hard to get around, but there is a reason for all of this. It probably isn't healthy to strive to understand the, "why", but healthy to find how this struggle can benefit and encourage others. It is so easy to get wrapped up in my own body and forget that my struggles effect/affect those around me. Wanting to be healthy (and longing for Heaven) is a healthy desire. However, if i let that desire take over instead of seeking first the Kingdom of God, then it (for me) becomes an obsession... or at the very least a distraction from Him... which is huge.

Pain is a funny thing (not 'ha, ha', funny but 'hmmm', funny). With intense pain, it is hard to think of anything else, especially when it is your head that hurts. Pain encompasses my mind like sin can so easily do. The difference is, sin is a choice, my physical pain is God's plan for me and out of my control. Having pain is not my choice but how i deal with it is. It is not all about me. My life is a sacrifice to God and this pain is His, not mine. And now... what do i do with that?